Building life skills through coaching
If you're a youth coach, avoid parenting. It's not your role or responsibility. But if you do your job right, you will impact kids lives by coaching & training field hockey
It was a U12 match last Saturday and the score was tied with just minutes left on the clock. One of our midfielders, Emma, had the ball and was under pressure. Instead of panicking, she scanned the field, spotted her teammate, and passed decisively. Mia, her teammate, received the ball and drove toward the circle, but instead of taking a rushed shot, she faked, drew the defender, and passed to another player, who scored the winning goal.
What stood out wasn’t just the technical execution—it was the life lessons on display. Emma showed social skills by trusting her teammate. Mia demonstrated creativity with her fake and pass. And the entire team exhibited good manners and behavior by celebrating the goal together, showing respect for their opponents and thanking the umpires after the game.
Moments like this remind us that as youth coaches, we’re not just teaching hockey, we’re shaping young lives. The question is: How do we ensure we’re doing it right?
The Role of the Coach: More Than Just Hockey
As a youth coach, your role isn’t to replace the parent, but you will inevitably impact the lives of the players you coach beyond the game. Field hockey is a vehicle for teaching life lessons, skills that extend far beyond the pitch. The seven lessons we’ll explore here are timeless and essential. The challenge is incorporating them into your daily coaching in a way that feels natural and impactful. Have these - or your own set of life lessons - always in the back of your head when training and coaching youth.
Teaching 7 Life Lessons Through Field Hockey
Let’s break down each of the seven lessons and explore how you can teach them through real-life examples during training or games.
1. Social Skills
What It Means: Sharing, taking turns, cooperating, and learning how to interact respectfully with peers and adults.
How to Teach It:
During Training: Use small-sided games (e.g., 3v3) where players must rotate positions every two minutes. This encourages sharing roles and taking turns.
During Matches: Assign leadership roles, like having one player organize the defensive setup during penalty corners. This fosters cooperation and respectful communication.
Off the Pitch: Encourage players to thank the umpires, opponents, and coaches after every game.
Coaching Points:
“Communicate clearly—use names and keep it positive.”
“Take turns leading—everyone gets a chance to step up.”
“Respect your teammates and opponents—it’s about the game, not just the result.”
2. Motor Skills
What It Means: Developing fine motor skills (e.g., stick handling) and gross motor skills (e.g., running, jumping, and balance).
How to Teach It:
During Training: Incorporate agility ladders, cone drills, and stick-handling exercises to develop coordination and balance.
During Matches: Encourage players to use different skills, like reverse stick tackles or aerial passes, to challenge their motor abilities.
Off the Pitch: Promote physical activity outside of hockey, like judo, yoga, running or cycling, to build overall fitness and agility.
Coaching Points:
“Stay low and balanced—your body position affects your control.”
“Use forehand and backhand—develop ambidexterity.”
“Move with purpose—every step should have intent.”
3. Using Time Wisely
What It Means: Managing your schedule effectively to accomplish goals while maintaining balance and reducing stress.
How to Teach It:
During Training: Set time limits for drills to simulate game pressure and teach players to make quick decisions.
During Matches: Emphasize the importance of game management, like when to slow the play down or speed it up.
Off the Pitch: Help players balance hockey with schoolwork and life outside of hockey by encouraging them to plan their schedules.
Coaching Points:
“Think ahead—what’s your next move?”
“Manage the tempo—know when to push and when to hold.”
“Use your time wisely—focus on what matters most.”
4. Creativity
What It Means: Engaging in imaginative play and thinking outside the box.
How to Teach It:
During Training: Use open-ended drills where players must solve problems, like creating a 3v2 attack with no predefined structure.
During Matches: Encourage players to try new skills, like a spin move or a deceptive pass, even if it doesn’t always work.
Off the Pitch: Foster curiosity by discussing hockey tactics or watching professional games to inspire creative thinking.
Coaching Points:
“Be brave—try something new.”
“Look for the unexpected—where’s the opportunity?”
“Mistakes are okay—they’re part of learning.”
5. Language
What It Means: Expanding vocabulary, sentence structure, and communication skills.
How to Teach It:
During Training: Use specific hockey terminology (e.g., “press,” “outlet,” “transfer”) and encourage players to use it during drills.
During Matches: Assign players to call out instructions, like “mark left” or “switch right,” to build their communication skills. Instead of calling out errors, focus on comuunicating expectations.
Off the Pitch: Encourage players to reflect on games by writing down what they learned or discussing it with teammates in the huddles before and after the games. Call on different players at half-time to communicate what was good or needs to improve.
Coaching Points:
“Use clear, specific language—say what you mean.”
“Communicate early—don’t wait until it’s too late.”
“Listen as much as you talk—good communication is a two-way street.”
6. Self-Care
What It Means: Learning healthy routines like drinking, taking care of your body and personal responsibility.
How to Teach It:
During Training: Emphasize the importance of warming up and cooling down to prevent injuries.
During Matches: Teach players to take responsibility for their equipment, like packing their own stick and shin guards.
Off the Pitch: Encourage healthy habits, like getting enough sleep and staying hydrated.
Coaching Points:
“Take care of your body—it’s the only one you’ll get”
“Be prepared—bring everything you need for training and games.”
“Rest and recover—your body and your mind needs time to recharge.”
7. Good Manners and Behavior
What It Means: Understanding rules, manners and respectful behavior.
How to Teach It:
During Training: Set clear expectations for behavior, like listening when the coach is speaking and respecting teammates.
During Matches: Model good sportsmanship by shaking hands with opponents and respecting the umpires.
Off the Pitch: Reinforce the importance of respect in all areas of life, not just hockey.
Coaching Points:
“Respect the game—follow the rules and play fair.”
“Respect others—treat everyone with kindness.”
“Respect yourself—hold yourself to high standards.”
3 Actionable Takeaways for Coaches
Incorporate Life Lessons into Drills: Design drills that teach both hockey skills and life lessons. For example, use small-sided games to develop social skills, creativity, and communication.
Model the Behavior You Want to See: As a coach, your actions set the tone. Show respect, manage your time wisely, and take care of yourself to inspire your players to do the same.
Celebrate Life Lessons as Much as Skills: When a player demonstrates good manners, creativity, or social skills, acknowledge it. This reinforces the importance of these lessons and encourages others to follow suit.
Final Thoughts
As youth coaches, we have the privilege and responsibility of shaping the next generation—not just as hockey players, but as people. By incorporating these seven life lessons into your coaching, you can help your players develop skills that will serve them both on and off the pitch.
So, how are you incorporating life lessons into your coaching? Are there specific challenges you’re facing, or strategies that have worked well for you?
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Values based coaching
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